5.31.2011

la dee do da.

don't you just love yearbook day? i mean who doesn't. 
everybody that you've come in contact with within the school year writes nice things about you in a book.
it's genius.                      
sometimes it's made up and sometimes it really comes from the heart.
either way, i still believe them. cuz every word i wrote, i meant.
at this moment in time this book is my most prized posession. 
excluding my baby, my camera, which will always be #1 in my heart.
because appartently i have nightmares of it drowning, and i feel my life has ended, until i wake up and a wave of relieved realization washes over me. 
wow that was punny.
but really it was just two full cups of water and one full cup of fanta
spilt all over taco amigo. one after the other. how did he manage that? i'm not quite sure but i havn't laughed that hard since the year of full fledged tears.
which is now a full school year away. we're gonna be juniors.
since when?  wow we're old.
but this summer we will party like crazy.
because all the great teachers i had this year deserve it, for they were really great.
and now i am done with this post.

5.29.2011

complete.

i want to take a picture.
i want to display the scene.
i want to preserve the light,
which right now i am seeing.

i want to write a poem.
i want to be profound.
i want to rhyme my words,
to create a beautiful sound.

now, what i really want
in the end, you see
is to ring my feeling's voice
so that i can feel complete.

5.28.2011

simple.

these were the days when everything was so simple and i could just let it all loose to some Mariah Carey in front of an ancient video camera. 
along with my crazy brothers, craig & kyle. 

video

5.27.2011

bitter-sweet.

today i recieved my first high school yearbook. 
the experience left a bitter-sweet after taste.

bitter:
  • yearbooks mean the end of a school year.  the close of a chapter in my adolecense story.
  • PG just won't be the same with out the seniors that are graduating. i will miss each of you.
  • change is hard.  especially when you've come to love where your at.  classes, teachers, friends.  it's hard to let go of something you have put so much time and effort into.  when you have come to love it, making a change is like leaving a piece of who you are behind.

sweet:
  • we have the capability of recalling that piece back to memory at any given time. 
  • that it happened. and we are who we are because of it.
  • change is also exciting! it opens new doors; it brings new opportunity.  to learn new things; to meet new people.  to come to love something new.
  • i can't wait for the memorable times that are ahead.

The end of each school year brings this feeling.  Each year for different reasons.  This time, i just feel like it's taken me my whole life to get to high school (because it has) and now it's already a third over.  i feel it's slipping through my fingers, though its barely getting started.  i can't imagine graduating next week.  thank goodness i'm not a senior.

thank you.

In seminary we were asked to voluntarily create something that was centered around Christ.  I created this slide show of my photos I feel most about.  For me, taking pictures brings me closer to Him.  It lets me admire His creations and gives me opportunity to ponder.  It brings me happiness and ultimately thats what he wants for all of us, right?
                      

p.s. thank you for all your kindness over the past two days.
it really means a lot to me.

5.26.2011

[the story of us]

haha and Taylor Swift manages to do it again, she never seems to fail.


I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,
How we met and the sparks flew instantly,
People would say they're the lucky ones.
I used to know my place was a spot next to you,
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on.

Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fall-out.
So many things that I wished you knew,
So many walls that I can't break through.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me,

I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

Next chapter.

How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,
And you're doing your best to avoid me.
I'm starting to think one day I'd tell the story of us,
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,
But you held your pride like you should've held me.

Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,
I've never heard silence quite this loud.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me,

I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

This is looking like a contest,
Of who can act like the careless,
But I liked it better when you were on my side.
The battle's in your hands now,
But I would lay my armor down
If you said you'd rather love than fight.
So many things that you wished I knew,
But the story of us might be ending soon.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me,

I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now.
And we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate 'cause we're going down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

The end.  

-Taylor Swift

& this time i was cracking up as to how accurate she was!

5.25.2011

let's just say, she's amazing.

i love this girl, she is outstanding. 
(i felt honored to photograph her senior pictures,
and put them on my blog).
this article in the Daily Herald just
completes it all.

overwhelming, in an exhilarating way.

anticipation.  at this point it could read any where on the globe.  the marker could land on any county, any language, any culture.  and if falls on an island.  just east of the african continent.  the room exclaims.  either for the relief of knowing or the craziness of the location.  i can't find any words.  it's just a tad bit over whelming, in an exhilarating way.  i add my congrats.  i wouldn't have missed it for anything.  i try to wrap my head around it, but my mind only reaches the edge of the same came continent as i.  because only a short time ago thats all it was, in only a short time to come it will all become so insignificant; and the goal becomes set in sight.  one year, your sitting at a lunch table cutting out snowflakes.  the next your on a different continent teaching the truth, and thats when every thing else shrinks.  because that continent and that truth becomes your everything for two years.  let it.  give it all you got.  i know you will.  and you will do it great.  as for me, i'll continue to sit at that lunch table amongst the insignificant.  knowing that you are the one obtaining the greater.  good luck. (:

5.24.2011

The Cast.

I lost the starring part in Our Town
To Linda, a girl not half as good as me,
Who kept her eyes down
For the whole tryout, and even stuttered.

When the cast posted
And the high school drama coach
Saw me reading it through my tears,
He put an arm around me and said,
"Now, look--things are not always as they appear.
This is not Broadway;
It's an educational institution.
We're here for two reasons--to put on a show,
And, more important, to help people grow.
Someday you'll see."

So Linda played Emily
And she didn't even stutter.
And I was Third Woman at the Wedding,
Watching and Wondering how he knew
What she could really do
If she had the chance.


Since then I have guessed that God,
Being a whole lot smarter
Than my high school drama coach,
Might be offstage sometimes
With an arm around a questioning cast:
"Now, don't try to outguess me.
Sometimes the first shall be last
And the last shall be first,
And I've got my own reasons
I need some strong ones to star
And some strong ones to stand back.
And I'm going to put out front
Some you might not choose,
But you'll see what they can really do
When they have the chance.
Mortality is an educational institution.
We've got to put on the show.
And, too, we've got to help people grow."

As I walk throught the scenes,
Watch the costumes move,
And listen to the lines
Of the powerful, the weak,
The rich, the poor,
I look at the leads with less awe than most,
and at the spear-carriers with more.

-Carol Lynn Pearson, The Growing Season (12)

this poet has beautiful handwriting
that, today, i appreciated very much.

abused.

Sometimes they don't like you that much. 
oh good to know.  thats fine. 
how 'bout you just add it to the list. 
i've been abused enough, one more punch won't hurt. 
but they all add up. 
and these ones arn't just ones that will heal over night.

...

and all at once. the guns are pointed at me.
and i stand bruised.

5.23.2011

clumsy.

you've always been in the plans.  ever since they began to form.  you've played one of the main roles. you were the reason i looked forward to them.  when i day dreamed about them, you were there.  it's always been that way.  until lately.  lately you've been slowly, ever so slightly, removing yourself from them.  now suddenly, you're no where to be found.  not even a glimpse.  but it's all wrong. the plans are suppose to be put into action.  starting now. 
you're gonna miss your chance.  if you keep fading like this.
i don't know what to believe.  why did i let my self rely on something i thought was so stable only come to find it falling to pieces?  you don't even know how much any contribution effects, or the lack there of.  i don't even know why or how it was able to get to this point.  Lately i've been trying to fill in the gaps.  patching up the holes.  but who am i kidding.  i can't hide it.  the plans won't succeed with out you.  the part that kills me, is i have no idea where you stand.  my thoughts stumble in the darkness when they come upon the subject. 
all they can conclude is this: what ever happened, happened. 
but right now i'm ready for a change. 
now there's only one more piece left, the question: are you?

5.22.2011

10; soft.

26 adjectives. 52 weeks of 2011. One descriptive word every two weeks. Check back to view my mother and I's interpretations.
left; Nicole Tucker
right; Lisa Tucker
10;26 soft

5.21.2011

becoming.


"We become what we want to be
by consistantly being what we want to become."

-Elder Richard G. Scott
General Conference Oct. 2010

i am ready.

Why is it that human beings crave competition? 
and why is it that we always want to win it
In order to achieve this, we have to race
But what is it that compels people to run
miles upon miles;
put themselves through
hours upon hours
of training
To prepare themselves for the ultimate test. 
Not just of physical strength, but
just as much mental. 
To take on the beast;
the marathon.  26.2 miles. 
Because it is fun?  We enjoy the pain?  Or is it the fact of
doing something most people are not capable of? 
The simple conception of feeling
triumphant over the enemy of impotent
These people are insane. 
I am ready
to become one of them.  Just on a much smaller scale.

hopefully.

               So...
i pretty much just cried my self to death when i read this.
if you are a teenage girl and
long for a fairy tale similar to the one you (hopefully) just read,
we are very much a like and we should become best friends.
and hopefully i didn't ruin your day because
hopefully one day this will be us. 

5.20.2011

dream III.

I dream of spending a summer in small town. 
One where the side walk cracks and from it wild flowers grow.  One with white picket fences and front doors open wide.  Welcoming anyone in because everybody knows everyone.  I'd be there visiting my grandparents.  I'd stay at their ranch house that has a surrounding deck for a porch.  Where I'd sit on a swinging bench and gaze out at the landscape.  Not another house or building insight.  Just open free land.  I'd wear no make-up and bare feet for shoes, along with my hand-me down shorts and t-shirts  that fit like a glove. 
I'd meet a boy.  The only one in town closest to my age.  I'd be shy at first.  But he would make me laugh and feel comfortable in no time.  We'd spend the long summer days together.  Somedays nothing to do but sit on the curb and eat popsicles while watching neighbors walk by with their dogs.  Somedays we'd ride bikes along the dirt trail that leads to the pond where we'd spend all day going swimming.  I'd sit on the sandy shore and soak in the sun.  He'd look at me with that smile of his.  One day we'd go to the town carnival.  We'd eat cotton candy and ride the ferris wheel just in time to see the sunset. 
We'd become inseparable; eachother's best friends.  Finding eachother lost in eachother.  Not wanting it any other way.  So when the summer comes to a sad close and we have to say goodbye, he promises to write me because we agree that this summer was one of many memories;
one we will never forget.

5.19.2011

road block, move it to the left; get around what evers in your way.

good thing for seminary.
good thing for traveling pants.
good thing people go out of their way to make your day a little brighter.
good thing singing broadway is so much fun.
good thing windshield wipers can wipe to the max.
good thing songs can establish exactly what your thinking.
good thing i shared my passion this morning,
         so now i can remember it's still mine,
         regardless of what position i am obtaining.
good thing there's still next year.
good thing for best friends.

or i don't know what today would've been like.

the rainbow is complete.

and it consists of:
Red:Ashley&Brian.Orange:Maren&Grant.Yellow:Paige&Brennan.
Green:Delanie&Zack.Blue:Kelsie&Tarl.Purple:I&Aaron.













Morp 2011.


5.18.2011

marvelous.

today, i have 3 items of business.

1) the song, Lux Aurumque, is captivating.  i fell in love with it at the first listening.
2) it's composer, Eric Whitacre, is a genius.  he also has nice hair.
3) this video is one of the coolest things i've ever heard of.  it's a virtual choir, conducted by him, singing the song.  what a marvelous idea.



i hope you watched the whole thing, because this one is definitely
worth it.

5.16.2011

determinate.

drum roll please...
this is my sisters and i's (awkward) attempt
to be lemonade mouth.

video

it's ok to make fun of us,
because we did too.
haha

sometimes, war is cruel.

Sometimes, war is cruel.

Soldiers fall broken,
Battle fields lie barren,
and the vastness of defeat lingers.

Sometimes, war is cruel.

The enemy rises in victory
and deserts the emptiness to be dealt with.

Sometimes war does not take place on real land and
Sometimes our own selves become the enemy.

The war with in us, is one of the nastiest.
The struggle to become better because we are not good enough.
The race to become faster because we do not measure up.
The contest to become prettier because we do not compare.

The outside opinions are allowed to persuade
and they are believed to be doctrine.

We try and we attempt,
but yet it never seems to be enough.
Gunshots still echo against the desolation.

Sometimes, war is cruel.

Hopes fall broken,
Dreams lie barren,
and the vastness of defeat remains.

For the war; no one to blame but ourselves.

5.15.2011

anyway.

People are often unreasonable and self-centered.

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.

Be kind anyway.

If you are honest, people may cheat you.

Be honest anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be good enough.

Do good anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.

It was never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa


i love this.
three cheers for Mother Teresa.

5.13.2011

a philosophy.

Here's a philosophy i heard from a good friend once:

If you have the chance to make someone's day by
telling them something nice you secretly think about them,
why not take the opportunity?

i dare you to follow it.

5.12.2011

magic.






spending a sunset in a field of danelions
is kind of like feeling a glimpse of real magic.

5.10.2011

happy birthday.

He is in the old black and white photos.
He saw the first ford clunker down the road.
He remembers when the first double winged airplane circled in the sky.
He suffered when the real recession was amongst the nation.
He went off to war.
He played the record player to listen to the music.
He bought one of the first house hold computers.
He watches the grandkids walk around texting.

He has witnessed the most dramatic changes
the world has come to know.

happy 83rd birthday grandpa.

frusterating; but it's ok.

  1. my brother is in california, on the beach, and i'm not; but it's ok because he's my brother.
  2. a possible irritated response; but it's ok because i got to sleep in.
  3. barnard gave us an actual seating chart; but it's ok because we still managed to sit in note passing distance.
  4. bernouli's principle does not equal archimede's principle; but it's ok because i wouldn't have passed any way.
  5. singing chili con carne for the 490th time; but it's ok because we made it to state.
  6. nothin' during lunch; but it's ok because saturday was awesome.
  7. the law states that i can't with other people present; but it's ok because at least i can with just my self.
  8. pointlessly memorizing poems to recite in english class; but it's ok because english teachers are leanient about perfection.
  9. badgers? ; but it's ok because it's what e'er.
  10. taking time to find the exact t-shirts and amount of change to buy them; but it's ok because they will be worth it and so will the pics.
  11. no teal and i'm stuck with purple; but it's ok becuase now the rainbow is complete.
  12. math assignment; but it's ok because it's one of the last ones.
  13. josie's dinner; but it's ok because it's a free food.
  14. how journals are 25 pages short of 365 so i can't fit a year's worth of entries into one novel; but it's ok because we can insert a customized amount.
so as of now it's all just ok.

5.09.2011

hide-n-seek.

ready or not,
here i come.

completely different than last year, oh how i took it for granted.

5.08.2011

9; rough.

26 adjectives. 52 weeks of 2011. One descriptive word every two weeks. Check back to view my mother and I's interpretations.
left; Nicole Tucker
right; Lisa Tucker
9;26 rough

5.07.2011

turn.

Where ever the road takes you, go with it. 
Whether it be a detour or not. 
If the map says go straight. 
Turn. 
Respond as if time does not exist. 
If it did, let it be used to explore the details. 
For they are always persistent,
it is only when we are blinded that we are also disregarded. 
Look at the earth for what it really is;
not for what the rest of the world sees it as. 
The lone dirt road wanders. 
Let us find ourselves in the midst of nowhere. 
Which is somewhere to be lost. 
Miles upon miles of land transform into memories. 
And the day-to-day acts fade away. 
Every once in awhile that is all the soul needs;
to be set free. 
Even if it is only for a short time.

5.05.2011

eskel is singing.

just finished this tale.  and i'm in love.


i dare you to as well.

5.04.2011

i get to feel.

People may look at my photographs and say
wow that is amazing
or
goodness, this is gorgeous.

all they get to do is
look;

see
the shapes,
see
the lines,
see
the colors.

But they miss out on the best part.
the part i get to experience.

i get to feel;

feel
the light,
feel
the atmosphere,
feel
the memories;

that lay behind the photo.
the things only capable of knowing
if present.

i consider my self the lucky one.

5.03.2011