impossible memories

and weeks later
you still might find yourself
tossing and turning
wide awake
in the early hours of morning
clinging to
impossible memories

so you get up and go run;
your back before
the sun even rises,
because sleep was
out of the question.

what else were you to do?


summer '12

bucket list

1.  [ ] live my life, more.
2.  [ ] worry about living it picture perfectly, less.

3.  [ ] document it for the sake of emotion.


i've learned.

i won't let today grow into a yesterday
but i just can't wait for tomorrow to grow into a today.

Q: your biggest fear?
A: the future. scratch that. i'm not afraid of the future, i'm afraid of leaving the present behind.

that thing we call graduation? yeah. me in one year.
why am i struggling with the fact now?
maybe because every hello ends with a goodbye
once senior year starts
it has to end.

it's one of those things that i never thought would come.

but now that it's here,
i don't want to hide from it,
i want to embrace it.
live it up.
so here i am, here it is,
to summer 2012: the start of senior year.



while walking across a parking lot a couple days ago,
i looked up and saw this:

and this ran through my head.


for a true american moment,
explain the revolution to an 11 year old.
i'm grateful for the mental painting of this country's great history
that i've recieved this school year.


council (x3)

  1. choir  council - historian
  2. seminary  council - lindon west stake representative.
  3. youth humanities  council - internship with the church history museum in Salt Lake.

& i couldn't be more ecstatic for these opportunities i've been blessed with.



the floor is slipping from beneath me.

my whole life i've walked on the same hardwood surface.
until now.
it's being pulled out from under me.
i have no choice but to jump into the unknown
with the uncertainty of where i'll land.
which foreign surface will i catch my footing on?

i don't want to take this leap.
my muscles cramp at the thought.
regardless though, time is ticking.
the edge is approaching.
i don't want to get too close or else
i'll have no choice but to jump.

it makes me want to give
the present a big hug
"don't leave me," i whisper.
"we've grown too close".

the circumstances that surround me.
the life i live.
it's all i've ever known.

change all of that?
how is a human being suppose to handle it?

the edge is approaching.
once i take the last step off this staircase,
i take the first step up the final flight.

i catch a glimpse downward;
then a double take.
an endless winding staircase i've climbed.
it's all i can see.

i turn to face forward again.
the last stretch begins with this next step.

i'm hesitant to take it.
because once i do, it's full speed to the top.

i'm terrified of what i'll find there.

emotions i can't comprehend.
dreams i've only imagined of living.
people i will never forget.

this jump of unknown;
how do we manage?
we don't.
but it comes with force
when the very last step is reached
and we take it.

as strong as our trembling legs
and uncertain trust
can possibly handle.



earth rotates in and out of season.

circumstance changes along with it.

years prove for the circumstances surrounding me.

people rotate in and out of lives.

relationships change along with them.

what will the next season bring?



MORP 2012

date: Hayden Hunter


 seriously, such a fun time.

junior year.


different relationships are just that


they arn't comparable.
they can't compete.

this very theory may cause
the gauging to be difficult.

some bring magic,
others bring meaning.

but which one is better?


i'm weird cause i hate good byes, got misty eyed as they said farewell.

i'm not very good at letting go.
i have a tendency to cling to familarity.

exhibit A)
i keep every thank you note, birthday card, or handwritten item addressed to me that i receive. i have boxes full of them, dating back to first grade.

i keep a variety of random items for sentimental reasons. the collection continues to grow through the years.

i still have all of my notes/hand outs/quizes/tests from the AP geography class i took in 9th grade. just because the memories i have from that class are important to me.

i just archived all of that from my AP calculus class too, for the same reason.

this time of year rips me apart inside. the excitement of summer versus the closing of a school year that i've put so much effort into.

it's hard to say goodbye to teachers and class rooms i've got so acquainted with

the thought of graduating in a year and leaving everything behind is so sad in my mind.

maybe thats why i have the same
best friends, the same hobbies, and the same habits
as i did in elementary school.


it's a scornful thing.

every field is fenced in.
every landmark; a toll booth.
every natural feature is blocked with a no tresspassing sign
every mountain; a trail.
every inch of land has an owner.

        beauty contained.

i get a sense that the earth wants to be set free.

[roger that]

is officially in action


my path.

Each person in this world has a story.
a single path where their soul walks along.
they pave it as they go.
each curve or straight edge perfectly in place
to get them where they need to be.

sometimes there comes a circumstance
where two different paths meet.
the necessary route of the paths seem to match.
the souls walk side by side.
for an instance, their paths coincide with eachother.
to progress together.

but after some time of experience and sunshine
there may come a point
where the paths must split.
the paving plans are no longer similar enough
to continue on the same way.

and they diverge.
it may cause pain to the souls;
to seperate and keep moving along
in their different directions.

sharing a path with another soul
can be something so extraordinary
its not easily forgotten or left behind.
it takes strength to continue on alone.

but just as they came together to progress
they must seperate to progress further.

and when they do
the empty space may seem overwhelming at first.
it is too much of a reminder of the sharing.
but as each path keeps paving
the cracks that were left behind
become smoother in time.

and when the soul looks back
it reconciles the importance
of the two paths intersection
and the other soul that joined the walk.

it is able to continue on its own
individual path
to arrive at the constructor's
intended destination
for the soul.


growing up.

I'm intriged by the fact of life.
it stands behind some individuals of this world.
as for me it stands in front. still to come.

society needs this contrast.
the process of transition has
stood the test of time.
a new generation will rise
and take the wheel;
i will be apart of it.


a friday night.

international art competition.

now that i drove around the valley promoting this:
the seminarys at Pleasant Grove, Lonepeak, American Fork, Lehi, Timpanogos, Orem, Mountain View, Maesar, Liahona, PG jr, Oak Canyon, Orem jr, Canyon View and Lakeridge all are aware of this internation art competition and our desperate need for entries!
the dead line is approaching, June 1st! so go here and sumbit your piece of art!
it's easy and a great opportunity!


today i read a journal entry from 6th grade. 

  April 4, 2007

that was the day i took the pre-algebra exemption test determining what level of math class should be in for seventh grade.  i was worried and stressed; scared out of my mind to be at a big school like the junior high when i was still only a little sixth grader.  i was the last one in the room finishing the test when i looked up and saw this kid.  he was the other last one in the room too.

ever since that moment we've been through it all together.

today i wrote a journal entry for 11th grade.

  May 9, 2012

today was the day i took the AP calculus exam, the test i've been working towards since that day in seventh grade when i went straight into regular algebra.  i drove to the high school and walked in the same familiar doors.  i found my seat in the cafeteria and was getting situated with my calculator and pencils when i looked up and saw this guy.  the same kid.  he took a seat. 
and we dominated that test, side by side, 5 years later. 

we made that journey, that math journey, together.
from start to finish.

i'd call that a miracle. 
i've been blessed with full-lasting friendships my whole life.


according to my calculations.

789,420+ seconds
13,157+ minutes
220+ hours
166 pages of notes
163 first class-periods
73 assignments
59 quizes
55 practice free-response questions
44+ formulas
16 review sessions
9 "last chance workouts"
6 chapter tests
3 full practice AP tests
2 teachers
1 AP Calculus exam

one AP Calculus score;

I am going to make it a five.

crunch time.

it feels like i have been training my whole life for the olympics
and now its my time to compete in the games.


a snippet

from the email recieved from panama today:

"Tell Nicole I Love her, she is my little Sister
and she means more than the world to me. Tell her to Smile. Everyday
can become brighter if we let it :) This world needs good, so go be
part of that team :)"

i love you too brother. so much.
sunday couldn't come soon enough.

good in goodbye.

driving that drive and walking that walk was
all too familiar.
my heart was under attack.

As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt
I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved
Sometimes life leads you down a different road
When you’re holding on to someone that you gotta let go
Someday you’ll see the reason why
Sometimes, yeah sometimes, there’s good in goodbye

I don’t regret it
The time we had together
I won’t forget it
But we both ended up where we belong
I guess goodbye made us strong
And yeah I’m happy
And I knew one day I’ll see you on the street
And it’d be bittersweet

As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt
I thank God I didn’t get what I thought that I deserved
Sometimes life leads you down a different road
When you’re holding on to someone that you gotta let go
Someday you’ll see the reason why
Sometimes, yeah sometimes, there’s good in goodbye

                                                                 --Carrie Underwood

but the act was necessary
 it was the least i could do
for someone who meant
so much to me.


no-mans land.

i stand on no-mans land.
emotion at war.
this barrier might have the stereotype of nuetrality. safety.
but the atmosphere here is nothing similar to the latter.
the feeling is erie. unsure.
the unknown knowledge of which territory is proximate;
which side of the line is bordered.
that's the most insecure part.

i stand facing west, towards the setting sun.
past to my left. future to my right.
time at war.
no appetite to step left. not equipped to step right.
halted in the middle.
i am unsure of the current status of the war; which side is winning.
so i guess i'll take a seat and wait for further notice.
all i wonder is where you are stationed on this battlefield.


junior prom.

my mother, is more amazing than words can describe. 

it was necessary to document it with a mini photoshoot:

now for a little abstract:

date: michael anderson

PROM 2012 //  YOLO


TvH9C3 on Make A Gif, Animated Gifs

may the fourth be with you.


i like rollercoasters.

most of the time.

i enjoy the anticipating climb to the summit,
the moment of awe at the top when the horizon settles into view,
and the exhilirating thrill that drops in your stomach during the downward throttle.




most of the time, i like rollercoasters.

but as far as today goes,
just get me off this ride.
i think i'm going to be sick.