past and future self.

here i find myself yet again;
lying in bed waiting for sleep to take me away.
it's the only moment my mind has to slow down enough to realize the time passing by.
How quickly the days are being checked off.
how has 24 hours already passed again?
it seems too soon for another day to be through.
what is a day?
a week?
a year?
they seem to slip by too quickly, they sneak away in a rushed bulk.
panic rises when suddenly chunks of my timeline have gone missing.
smuggled away by my past self;
the stolen pieces used to keep her alive.
i think of her and who she was.
i think of me and who i am.
but what i can't imagine is who i will be; my future self.
she's so charitable. handing out her memories to me
to create my present. i thank her for it,
because though i may not always realize it,
they are golden. they make my life beautiful.
i try and try again to see it now, before i am forced to give them up to my past self.

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