some past accounts.

time has passed,
the feelings have slipped my memory.
i'd forgotten how exciting it was,
how happy those days were,
how perfectly things fell into place.

i couldn't be more grateful for the accounts that 
have those special days recorded on paper.
where a year later I can read and be reminded
that it really did match up.
every page has the same happy line written on it.

while on my knees, i was overwhelmed; 
sobbing with a smile on my lips.
"I don't now what the future holds, but I know we've come this far
and from here I'm leaving it up to you.
please help things to happen how they're suppose to--
that i will feel the way i'd always hoped i would.
but until then, prepare me.
teach me what i should know 
so i can feel that way.
and among all this searching, let me know that the day will come.
that one day, all this will make sense."

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