i cry about the future.
i cry about the past.
the past, especially the past.
how could i not yearn for something that was so perfectly ideal?
the saddest part is, i didn't even feel that way when i was living those moments.
these pictures don't even begin.
i remember things like comments on math backpacks and lunch dates on the grass next to that weird statue that looks like lips.
i remember sandwiches before public bus rides that started it all.
i remember late nights,
i remember bright days.
i remember high beds that we had to high jump onto.
i remember long football games that i couldn't even pay attention during.
i remember cupcakes lined up in the shape of 19.
i remember freezing cold water and the feeling of living through college.
i remember nashville tribute concerts and meeting the truman brothers.
along with that night: spider webs in labs
i remember hikes and playing cards with those guys that night too.
i remember lorde singing love club every time we drove to walmart.
i remember running to chalk dances.
i remember a lot of crazy dancing at dance parties.
there's no resolution to this post because i'll never be back.
it'll never be brand new to me, meeting those people so dear in my heart,
never so sure of being in the right place at the right time.
i remember peaceful overwhelmingness
that wasn't so overwhelming at all in the cemetery that sunday.
I remember pencil drawings on the side walk,
i remember the walk to the church across the way.
i remember old main and the block you drive around that connects everyone to everything.
i remember the party in that little house and the frat party that we left.
i remember the temple just down the street, i remember the golden toaster church
i remember meeting my bishopric for the first time there.
i remember that walk along the cemetery fence to home, it wasn't very long but i was always mad to miss the bus.
the bus. i remember waiting for that bus while sitting on a rock making dumb iPhone videos with megan frodsham early in the morning. well i remember it wasn't that early, 9:30am is early when you're up until 3 or 4 every night.
i remember bringing groceries up all those stairs.
i remember the blue bird and SE Needhams; i remember main street and its beautiful lights.
i remember the di and getting fancy decor to decorate our apartment.
i remember that first weekend and how we thought it would be fun to follow guys we met at a stop light.
for the record it was fun, but also crazy. either way, it makes for a good story.