i love today.

change is soon to come. big change. and when i say soon i mean
in 7 terms, 13 school dances, 3.5 semesters, 2 christmas's, 1 summer, 1 birthday.
we will be scattered.

tonight, i walked the halls of my elementary school. i relived the moments i was there. it was only a short decade ago that they started. an even shorter half-decade that they closed. 
where have i come since then?

taking a glance backward causes realiztion to set in when turned forward again.

in another short half-decade where will i be?

thinking of that crackling day when graduation will push us in different directions is unbearable at this point. but, with each passing moment we get closer. i don't want to waste them away wishing for better ones.
so i'm not going to any more.

i love today.

i love that i got to spend my lunch listening to a history teacher bare his testimony.
i love that i got to attend a field trip on a school bus this morning.
i love that when i came home from school, i played a piano.
i love that i got to spend the evening talking with core friends.
i love that the sun rays just before sunset were golden.
i love that i recognized that.
i love that i get to be overwhelmed with a new aspect of calculus every b1.
i love that i get to wake up before the crack of dawn and walk through the past chilly air, just to feel the relief of walking in the warm school doors.
i love that i get to project most of my hours and efforts into that place.
i love that i get to dress up for halloween this weekend and party.
i love that anytime i get in my car i can plug in my tunes and drive anywhere i want.
i love that i get to run everyday with a team. on a canal at that.
i love that i walked around asking for donations for an expensive choir tour coming up and a Nike race even sooner.
i love that sadies hawkin's is suddenly two weeks away and pereference will soon follow.
i love all things i have on my to-do list that stress me out.
i love that i still have my senior prom to look forward to.
i love the fact that i don't know who i will marry.

i love that i can imagine my dreams and
i can make anything happen if i want it to.
i love that my future is unlimited and open.

because soon, it feels so soon,
it will slip through my regretful grasp and i will want it back. i know i will.

 i am loving it today instead of loving it when it's gone,
because then the love will only hurt.


  1. this is lovely :) every aspect of it is true! wasn't it only yesterday that we were walking the looming halls of oak canyon in 7th grade, and meeting each other for the first time? it's a surreal feeling. love you, and miss you dearly. let's have another meet-in-the-middle-of-the-road happenings :)

  2. Nicole, this is perfect(: I was thinking almost the same exact thing (i didn't go to my elementary though) last week!!! but you said it so well!