some past accounts.

time has passed,

the feelings have slipped my memory.

i'd forgotten how exciting it was,

how happy those days were,

how perfectly things fell into place.

i couldn't be more grateful for the accounts that 

have those special days recorded on paper.

where a year later I can read and be reminded

that it really did match up.

every page has the same happy line written on it.

while on my knees, i was overwhelmed; 
sobbing with a smile on my lips.

"I don't now what the future holds, but I know we've come this far

and from here I'm leaving it up to you.

please help things to happen how they're suppose to--

that i will feel the way i'd always hoped i would.

but until then, prepare me.

teach me what i should know 

so i can feel that way.

and among all this searching, let me know that the day will come.

that one day, all this will make sense."